Shari Taylor, PhD
  • Home
  • Services & Offerings
    • Helpful Tools
    • Research
    • Yoga Practice
    • Nada Yoga
    • Events
    • Yoga for Back Pain
    • Downloads >
      • Two-Week Meditation Course
  • About
    • Mind-Body Therapy
    • Shari's Book List
    • Resources
    • Of Interest
    • Media
  • Blog
  • Contact
  • Psychedelic Integration & Support
  • Self-healing exercises

How Does Our Ego Develop

2/3/2015

0 Comments

 
Picture
     Because we all have different personality types, what we experience in childhood may appear to be very different, even by siblings raised in the same household. One child may experience their mother as abandoning, another may experience her is invasive or domineering, and yet another may experience her as being inconsistent. Although each child experiences the same parents at different ages, their parents do not fundamentally change and become radically different after each child is born.
     Each child will focus on a particular characteristic of each parent, and this will become the basis for their relationship with that parent. Our ego develops during early childhood at age two to four. 


     At that time we lose touch with Being and start to feel separate, which is solidified by the fact that we have a physical body and recognize pain and pleasure as being confined to that body. This Freudian principle of striving for pleasure and avoiding pain is the most fundamental principle underlying the egoic structure.

     Each of us then, attempting to reconnect with their loss of Being, develops a logic that tells us – if only I had the quality of confidence, or support, or courage, or love, or strength – then I would feel complete. 



     Understanding how each of us responds to this our particular identification can help us make sense of how and why others behave, feel, and think as they do, which can open our hearts to compassionate understanding.

     When we ask ourselves if there is more to life than the inner emptiness that we are often seeking to either fill or avoid, when we realize that there are no external answers to our problems, that being a certain way or achieving a particular thing will not ultimately fulfill us, then we may finally begin looking at our inner world in a direct and truthful way. 



     When we do this, we will realize that patterns continuously repeat themselves throughout our life – that we are constantly responding to the past through our filter of who we are and what the world around us is.  


     Our suffering is not the result of our external circumstances, of being alone, in the wrong relationship, or because we don’t have the perfect job, or look the way we want – it’s because lost contact with our essential nature. We have become separated from the fundamental truth that we are lovable and worthy no matter what we do.

    Asking ourselves where we see deficiencies can help uncover feelings of fear that we can trace back to childhood. By leaning into this feeling, even though it may feel like you will fall forever and either go crazy or die, you can actually see that you can ultimately tolerate it and that there is something there that will catch you, or hold you up. 



     Exploring this over and over is imperative in facing these deep wounds. Becoming in tuned to what is happening in our physical bodies as we go through thoughts or feelings of lack, is a way of exploring these deficiencies and recognizing them for what they are – our loss of relationship with Being. 


The following Rumi poem describes this:

You’ve been fearful
of being absorbed in the ground,
or drawn up by the air.

Now your water bead lets go
and drops into the ocean,
where it came from.

It no longer has the form it had,
but it’s still water.
The essence is the same.

This giving up is not a repenting.
It’s a deep honoring of yourself.

     The closer we are to our depths, the closer we are to our Being, we will experience more harmony and balance because from this perspective there is no polarity – no positive or negative. 



     You have probably had this experience many times for brief instances – seeing a beautiful sunset, being in nature, looking in a child’s eyes – that brief moment before a thought or mental judgment that says something is good or bad, pleasant or unpleasant - that feeling in your heart of pure love.



     Connect to the love within you, and it will appear in front of you. 
0 Comments

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    Picture
    Shari Taylor, PhD
    I write about human behavior, meditation, body awareness, and a variety of other things that pique my interest. 

    Sign Up For My Monthly Newsletter

    * indicates required

    Categories

    All
    Beliefs
    Body Awareness
    Consciousness
    Creating Abundance
    Dreams
    Happiness
    How To Create New Habits
    How To Deal With Stress
    Improve Sleep
    Love & Relationships
    Meditation
    Mind Body Connection
    Mind-Body Connection
    Mindfulnes
    Neuroplasticity
    Non Ordinary States
    Non-Ordinary States
    Nutrition
    Our Personality
    Research
    Self Improvement
    Self-Improvement
    Trauma
    Yoga

    Archives

    July 2022
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    May 2021
    December 2020
    December 2018
    September 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    October 2017
    September 2017
    July 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014

    RSS Feed

Location

               What Clients Are Saying



“Working with Dr. Taylor has brought me a new dimension in body awareness. I am so much better able to deal with difficulties in life and feel more empowered. After experiencing a traumatic life event, I had lost hope, but working with Dr. Taylor helped me to see myself not as a victim, but as a survivor.”


       Miriam, New Orleans
  • Home
  • Services & Offerings
    • Helpful Tools
    • Research
    • Yoga Practice
    • Nada Yoga
    • Events
    • Yoga for Back Pain
    • Downloads >
      • Two-Week Meditation Course
  • About
    • Mind-Body Therapy
    • Shari's Book List
    • Resources
    • Of Interest
    • Media
  • Blog
  • Contact
  • Psychedelic Integration & Support
  • Self-healing exercises